IFHY
by Off That Gas
Summary: ZAGR. Based off the song IFHY by Tyler, The Creator. Rated T for language, and teenage mischief. IFHY stands for I Fucking Hate You.
1. Intro

**IFHY**

**A/N**: This story could be a possible chapter story based on how many reviews I get. It's based off the song "IFHY" by Tyler, The Creator. ZAGR. I don't own shit.

Zim didn't understand why he felt this way; why he felt the way he did about the Gaz-human. Every time he saw her, he would get this warm feeling in his squeedly-spooch, and when he sees her talk to another guy, he got upset. He walked into the cafeteria at High Skool and spotted her at a table with her brother, Dib. He saw a guy walk over to the table and tap Gaz on her shoulder; and Zim didn't know why, but he began to quickly walk in that direction. The boy was standing in front of Gaz; and when Zim got to the table, he pushed him aside. "Excuse Zim, but he needs to talk to Little Gaz," he said as he took Gaz's wrist.

"I was in the middle of telling her something," the boy said, stepping in front of Zim.

"It's urgent. Zim will bring her right back."

"What do you need my sister for?" Dib asked, standing up.

"Zim needs to talk to her. She will be right back," he said as he pulled Gaz out of her seat and walked away from the two guys. Zim let go of Gaz's wrist and said,"Follow Zim." He led them out of the cafeteria and down the hallway and stopped. "What do you want, Zim?" Gaz said, crossing her arms. To be honest, Zim didn't want anything from her; he just didn't want that guy talking to her.

But he dragged her away, and she's under the assumption that he needs to talk to her, so he thought of something. "Umm, did Little Gaz get the chemistry homework?" He asked as Gaz gave him a wooden stare.

"You dragged me out here to ask me if I had the Chemistry homework?"

"Uhh, yeah."

"You couldn't ask me in the cafeteria?"

Zim shrugged and Gaz said,"I'll give you the homework after lunch. Now move."

She walked back to the cafeteria and left Zim alone in the hallway. As soon as she was out of sight Zim swung his arms in fury. 'What was Zim thinking? Asking her about the chemistry homework? That was ridiculously stupid. Fuck!,' he thought as he slumped down to a sitting position. He didn't even return to the cafeteria, he just sat in the hallway; cursing his feelings and how he behaves in front of her. The ringing of the bell snapped him out of his thoughts and he quickly stood up. The kids already thought he was weird enough, no need for them to question why he was sitting in the hallway. He saw Gaz approach him, and then he saw the guy that was at the table with her. He had his arm around her; and once Zim put two and two together, he was pissed. "Zim, come to my locker so I can give you the homework," Gaz said once she reached him. He followed her to her locker, not liking how the boy's arm was around her waist, so close to her butt. Once they reached Gaz's locker, she opened it and handed Zim a piece of paper. Zim snatched the paper out of her hand and stalked of to his last class of the day, his empty hand balling into a fist.

XxXxXxXx

Gaz made her way up the stairs to her room, glad that Dib had tutoring and wasn't there to annoy her. She opened the door to her room and saw someone sitting on her bed. She jumped and screamed a little before she realized it was Zim. "Do not be alarmed Little Gaz. It is only Zim," he said, standing up.

"What the hell do you mean 'don't be alarmed'? How the fuck did you get in here?" Gaz said, still shocked that Zim was in her bedroom. Zim just pointed to the open window. Gaz nodded her head, she must have forgotten to close it. "Well, why are you here? What do you want?" Gaz said, sitting on her bed. Zim exhaled deeply. He had to go through with this, he was already in her bedroom.

"Um, who was the human-beast Zim saw you with today?"

"My boyfriend. Why?"

"Zim didn't know you had a boyfriend."

"I didn't know I had to ask you if I could date."

"You do not have to ask Zim if you can date."

"So why are you confronting me about this?"

"Zim is not confronting. He is confirming. He figured that was your 'boyfriend' as humans call it."

"So, why are we standing here, having this conversation?"

"Umm…," Zim said, getting nervous.

"I'm waiting."

"Little Gaz…"

"Stop with the 'Little Gaz'."

"…Gaz."

"Yes?"

"You do things to Zim…"

"What are you talking about?"

"You make Zim get these feelings in his his squeedly-spooch every time he sees you."

"I repeat: what are you talking about?"

"You're messing with his 'emotions' as you humans say it."

"How am I messing with your emotions? I haven't done anything."

"Yes you have, Gaz-human! You make Zim get these unfamiliar, uncomfortable feelings and he fucking hates you for it!"

"What the fuck are you talking about? I haven't made you do anything!"

"You make Zim get upset whenever he sees you with guys other than your big-headed brother!"

"You're jealous of my boyfriend? What, do you like me or something?"

"Yes, Zim likes you. And if he sees that boy again, he just might kill him."

"Is that why you dragged me into the hallway today? Too keep me away from him?"

"Yes."

There was an awkward silence in the room as Zim sat next to Gaz. Then, Gaz turned to him and said,"Zim, why didn't you just tell me?"

Zim shrugged and said,"You make Zim nervous when he sees you."

"Whatever. But lucky you, because I broke up with him today."

"Huh?"

"He's not my boyfriend anymore."

"Oh. Well, can you make Zim your new 'boyfriend' as you humans say it?"

"…Sure, why not."

Zim grinned a little before getting up and going to the window. He gave Gaz a small wave before climbing out. Gaz just laughed and shook her head.

**A/N**: "_I never would've thought that feelings could get thrown in the air, cause I accidentally caught that" -Tyler_

REVIEW!


	2. Low-key

**A/N: Back again with chapter two of this story. I recommend this: if you haven't heard IFHY, this story might not make sense to you; so you should go listen to the song, or look up the lyrics so you aren't confused. Also, many of you want me to write more chapters for my story "The After Party". The only thing is that I'm stumped. I'm accepting ideas for a new chapter (no dumb ones). Just PM me and I'll let you know if I'm gonna use it or not. Now, enough of this bullshit and on with the story.**

Chapter two: Low-key

Just as Zim jumped out of her window, Gaz realized something: her pig-headed brother Dib would never approve of this. Gaz got up off her bed and ran down the stairs. She ran outside and stopped Zim as he was making his way home. "Zim wait," she said, catching his shoulder.

"What is it Love-pig?" Zim replied, turning to face her.

"What the hell is a 'love-pig'?"

"It's the Irken equivalent to the terms you humans use: 'boyfriend and girlfriend'."

"Oh, ok. I needed to tell you something."

"Yes?"

"We need to keep our relationship low-key for a while."

Zim twisted his head to the side before asking,"What means 'low-key'?"

"Low-key means that a couple kind of keeps their relationship a secret."

"Why would we keep this a secret?" Zim asked, still confused.

"Because if Dib finds out we're together, he'll kill both of us."

"Oh yeah, Zim forgot about your big-headed brother. But why would he not approve? He knows I'm no longer an invader."

"Yeah, I know he knows that. But that's not the reason why."

"Then, what is?"

"He just doesn't like you. That's the reason why he'd never approve."

"Little Gaz, why does what your brother think about Zim need to influence your relationship with him? Are you not your own person?" Zim said, moving forward and taking Gaz's hand.

"Of course I'm my own person Zim. I just don't feel like hearing him rant and rave about this like he does his paranormal stuff," Gaz said.

"Who says you have to listen to him? Dib does not own you, he's not your father. He cannot tell you who you can and who you can't be in a relationship with."

"I know that. But until I can make him realize that, we have to keep us a secret. It'll only be for a little ?"

"Fine Little Gaz. "We'll be 'low-key'. But you must tell him at some point. Promise Zim you will."

Gaz sighed and said,"I promise Zim. Now go home before Dib comes by and sees you holding my hand." Zim gave her a small grin before walking down the street to his house. Gaz turned around to go back in the house, and she saw Dib standing right behind her. She jumped and said,"Dib, you scared me. How long have you been standing there?"

Dib shrugged and said,"I just walked up. I have a better question for you though. What were you doing talking to Zim?"

"He asked me a question," Gaz said, telling the smoothest lie ever.

"Didn't he ask you a question earlier today?"

"Well, he had another one. He's entitled to ask many questions."

"Yeah, but not to my little sister."

"Whatever Dib. He asked me about the chemistry homework; you act like he asked me out."

"Over my dead body," Dib said back, getting tense.

"Dib, just shut up and go in the house. I'm not in the mood for you right now," Gaz said as she waved her hand dismissively. Dib sighed and walked towards the door to the house before saying,"I know Zim isn't an invader anymore, but I don't trust him. And if I can't trust him, I don't want you to talk to him."

Gaz rolled her eyes and said,"Dib, you don't own me. I'll hold a conversation with whoever I want to. Just get off my back about this. All he did was ask a question. Damn." Gaz went inside and went upstairs to her room, leaving Dib standing on the front porch. 'She's hiding something. And whatever it is, it's gotta do with Zim,' Dib thought as he went inside the house.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Gaz and Dib left out of their home the next morning for Skool. Dib met up with his friends, and Gaz walked along beside them. 'I really think I should consider making some friends,' she thought, before she heard someone call her name. She turned around and saw Zim making his way towards her. Gaz lagged behind enough to let Zim catch up with her, while keeping a safe distance from her brother. "Good morning Little Gaz," Zim said as he put his arm around her. Gaz quickly got out of the embrace and whispered,"Low-key, remember?"

"Oh, right. Well, can Zim still walk with you to skool?"

"Yeah, but not everyday. Dib is more suspicious than I thought."

Zim sighed before saying,"Just tell him. What's the worst he could do besides try to fight Zim?"

"That's the thing, I don't want him to fight you. I wanna be able to tell him without him getting upset."

"When would that happen?"

"Probably won't."

"That's Zim's point. What'll be the difference in waiting to tell him, versus telling him now? Zim thinks that he'll be more upset if you wait than if you tell him now."

"Zim, I'll figure something out. Just trust me. Okay?"

Zim sighed, but nodded his head. Just then, Dib noticed that Gaz wasn't walking next to him and his friends. He turned around and saw her walking next to Zim. He turned around and walked towards them.

"Hey, what the hell do you think you're doing?" Dib asked, getting in Zim's face.

Zim took a step back and said,"Having a conversation with Little Gaz. What seems to be the problem?"

"The problem is that you're talking to my sister."

"Well, would you rather Zim talk to you?" Zim retorted.

"What? No. I don't wanna talk to you. And Gaz doesn't wanna talk to you either."

"Umm, actually, I don't mind talking to him," Gaz said, trying to stop this situation from escalating.

"Well I do! Zim, you can't talk to my sister," Dib said, getting back in Zim's face.

"Why?" Zim said back, beginning to lose his patience.

"Why should I answer to you?"

"Why should you make Little Gaz not talk to Zim? It's merely conversation."

"Because I don't want you to."

"Zim will talk to Little Gaz if he feels like it, and he will not take orders from a big-headed, Earth worm-baby," Zim said right before Dib shoved him. Dib's friends ran to hold Dib back as Gaz moved to hold Zim back.

"Dib, quit being so overprotective. You're gonna fight somebody because you won't dont want him talking to me? Just let it go and quit being stupid," Gaz said, glaring at her brother. Dib sighed before turning around and walking off, with his friends following him. Gaz turned to Zim and said,"You see why I'm waiting to tell him? He tried to fight you over talking to me. He'll have an aneurism if he finds out we're dating."

Zim sighed and said,"Ok. Zim will not pressure you to tell your brother. Just tell him at some point."

"Ok. C'mon or we're gonna be late," Gaz said as she began walking again. Zim grinned and followed her.

**A/N:** _"I need some new boxing gloves, shit got hectic whenever I fought back, for example, ten minutes can go past without you brushing my thoughts, that's 1440 a day, so I'll say 144 times I think about you, or something like that, voss match." -Tyler_

**Please reveiw. Your input is greatly appreciated. And also don't forget about telling me your ideas for chapter two of "The After Party". Peace.**


	3. Feelings Admitted

**A/N: I fucking HATE writer's block -.-**

Chapter 3: Feelings Admitted

Gaz and Zim arrived at Skool just as the warning bell rang. They parted and each ran off to their locker, trying to hurry and get their things before they were late. Zim put his book bag away and got out his binder for chemistry and for pre-calc, and bumped into Dib. "Excuse Zim," he said, trying not to start an altercation.

Dib glared at Zim and said,"You stay away from my sister."

"Can you just step aside? Zim is trying to be on time for class," Zim replied, moving to go around him.

Dib pushed him back and said,"I'm serious Zim. If I catch you around my sister again, I will fuck you up."

"Yeah, sure. Excuse Zim," he said before running around him and going to class. He crossed the threshold of the chemistry room just as the bell rang. 'Just in time,' he thought as he took his seat next to his lab partner. His teacher, Mr. Thompson took roll and then began to give instructions for the next lab. He reached into his pocket for a pencil, but came up empty handed. Then he looked in his binder for one, but had no luck there either. He must've left it in his locker. He wished that Gaz had chemistry this period; he would just ask her for a pencil. But since she wasn't, Zim had to find someone else. He glanced at the boy sitting beside him, his lab partner, and drew a blank. 'What was this human's name?' He thought as Thompson finished giving the lab instructions. Zim sighed and said,"Excuse Zim, but he forgot your name. Can you refresh his memory?"

The boy sighed and said,"Dude, we been through this like a million times. My name is Trayvon. Trayvon Martin."

"Right. Trayvon, do you have an extra pencil Zim can use?"

Zim asked. Trayvon dug into his pocket and pulled out a mechanical pencil and handed it to Zim. He took the pencil and said,"Zim will remember your name this time Trayvon."

"Yeah, whatever. You'll ask me for it again tomorrow," Trayvon replied.

XXXXXXXXXX

Gaz walked out of art class feeling refreshed, with almost no memory of the altercation that happened this morning…that is, until Dib walked up to her. "Gaz, what's up with you and Zim?" He asked.

Gaz sighed and said,"Nothing. Why?"

"You talk to him more than you ever have before. You like him or something?"

"Ew. I'm gonna pretend you didn't just ask that," Gaz said, faking a shudder.

"Well, then how do you explain the letting him take you out the cafeteria, the 'question' he asked you yesterday, and the conversation this morning?"

"Umm, it's called being friendly. Why are you interrogating me?"

"When have you ever been friendly? And I'm interrogating you because something is up between you two."

"Nothing is up between me and Zim. And being friendly will get you somewhere. You should try it."

"It is something up between you and Zim. And if its what I think it is…"

"And what exactly do you 'think it is'?"

"I think you and Zim are dating."

"The fuck? I just told you I didn't like him. Why would I be dating him?"

"Are you lying to me?"

"No. I don't like Zim like that. Just let it go," Gaz said before storming off to her next class. 'She's lying about something. And it's either not liking Zim, not dating him, or both,' Dib thought as he went to his next class. Meanwhile, Zim had run into Gaz in the hallway. "Little Gaz, Zim needs to talk to you," he said before leading her away. "Where are we going?" Gaz asked before Zim stopped walking. "A place where we can be alone," he said before opening the Janitor's closet.

"Oh no. Zim, you go in there, you will be alone," Gaz said, backing away.

"Little Gaz, Zim is not going to mate with you in there. He needs to talk to you, away from the eyes of your evil brother."

Gaz sighed before reluctantly walking into the Janitor's closet, Zim following and closing the door behind him. He turned to face her and said,"Little Gaz, Zim saw and somewhat heard the conversation between you and the Dib. Why not just tell him?"

"Zim, you said you wouldn't pressure me to tell him," Gaz said, getting defensive.

"Zim knows what he said. But Dib has a clue that we are an Earth-couple, so why do you still keep this a secret?"

"He doesn't completely know yet."

"He has a very fair idea. Can he not just 'put two and two together' and figure this out?"

"He could…"

"So, why not tell him? You've lied enough as is. Just come clean and tell him."

"Why do you want me to tell him so bad?"

"Why does Little Gaz want to wait?"

"If you want him knowing about us so badly, you tell him!"

"Zim should not have to tell your brother that he is with his sister."

"Why not?"

"Because he is your brother. Why will you not tell him? Do you not care enough about Zim that you don't want the Dib knowing of us?"

"No Zim, I do care about you…"

"Then why do you continue to lie to your brother when he is clearly figuring out that we are dating?"

"Because you don't know him like I do!"

"Maybe not, but Zim does know that everyone hates being lied to!"

"Zim, let it go. I'll tell him when I tell him, quit bugging me about it."

"Little Gaz, Zim has waited too long to be with you for the Dib to mess it all up. Tell him."

"What do you mean you waited too long?"

"Umm…"

"Zim, how long have you liked me?"

"…uh, long time. Very long time," Zim mumbled, looking away.

"Really?"

"Yes. Back to the conversation at hand…"

"No, wait. Elaborate on this."

"Little Gaz, there is nothing to elaborate on. Zim loves…there is nothing to elaborate on."

"What were you about to say?"

"Who? Zim?"

"No, the broomstick standing next to you. Of course I meant you. What were you about to say?"

"Zim…umm…he…loves…you," Zim stuttered.

"That's why you're bugging me about telling him?"

"Yes. Little Gaz, Zim does not want to lose you to your brother. Tell him, for Zim," he said, taking her hand."

"Fine, I'll tell him about us," Gaz said, before turning to leave out the Janitor's closet. Zim followed her suit, closing the door behind him and going to his class.

_A/N: "Sell you the converse, getting left in the wrong cause I get so fucking mad when you don't write back. This isn't a song, I just happen to rhyme when I get emo and find time to write facts. Fuck. I love you" -Tyler_

**Yeah! Bet y'all didn't see that tribute to Trayvon Martin coming. May he rest in peace. Anyway, please review, I really wanna know how you guys feel. Peace.**


	4. Busted

**A/N: Gaz and Zim don't belong to me. They are the property of Johen Vazquez **

Chapter Four: Busted

Gaz walked into the house. She had after school tutoring, so Dib beat her home. When she shut the door behind her, she turned to look for her brother. 'He must be upstairs,' she thought when she couldn't find him downstairs. She made her way up the stairs and to his bedroom door, which was closed. She hesitated before knocking on the door. She had to keep her promise to Zim. Dib opened the door and said,"What's up?"

Gaz sighed before saying,"I need to tell you something."

"I've been known that you and Zim were dating," Dib said, crossing his arms.

"What…but…how did you…?" Gaz stuttered before Dib cut her off.

"I saw him holding your hand that night. I automatically knew that you and him were a couple. Why'd you lie to me?" Dib said, an angry tone coming into his voice.

"I didn't tell you because I knew you'd never approve."

"Yeah, and? You still should've told me."

"Okay, you're right. I should've told you."

"Dump him."

Gaz looked at Dib as if he just spoke Swahili. "What?" She said in utter disbelief.

"Dump. Him."

"What? Why?"

"I don't want you going out with him."

"And?"

"So you're dumping him."

Gaz gave a laugh ( not like a funny laugh, more like a you-just-pissed-me-off laugh) and said,"Dib, I'm not dumping anyone. You aren't my father, you can't tell me who I can and cannot date."

"I believe I just did."

"Okay, that doesn't mean I have to listen. I'll date Zim until we are forced to break up."

"Gaz, you aren't dating him!" Dib snapped, turning red in the face.

"I believe I already am."

"You will not date him."

"Just because you hate him doesn't mean I have to hate him too. Cut him some slack; he's not even an invader anymore."

"That doesn't matter. I know he's not out to take over the earth anymore. I just don't trust him."

"Why?"

"…"

"I don't hear you, you're quiet. Can I buy a vowel?"

"…"

"That's what I thought," Gaz said before turning around and walking down the stairs.

"Where are you going?" Dib asked, going down the stairs after her.

"I'm going to Zim's. I can't deal with you right now."

"Gaz, if you go to Zim's house, it'll be the last time you ever see him," Dib threatened.

"You're bluffing. You'd never hurt someone I care about because you love me too much. And you don't want me to hate you," Gaz said before walking out the door. Dib sighed before walking back upstairs to his room and slamming the door.

Gaz walked down the street to Zim's house, going up on his porch and ringing the doorbell. Zim opened the door and was a little surprised to see Gaz. "Little Gaz. What a pleasant surprise," he said stepping aside to let her in. She walked past him and sat down on his couch. Zim went over and sat next to her before saying,"So, did Little Gaz tell her brother?"

Gaz sighed and said,"No…"

"What? Little Gaz promised Zim she would tell him," Zim said, standing up.

"Zim…," Gaz began, but was cut off.

"Zim cannot believe you were lying to him. Why would you lead him on like this?"

"Zim."

"This is unbelievable. This is highly unbelievable. Zim cannot believe… ,"

"Zim, shut up!" Gaz yelled, halting Zim's ranting.

Zim stared at her and said,"What?"

"I didn't tell him because he already knew," she said, crossing her arms.

"Oh," Zim said, sitting back down.

"He had figured it out yesterday, and told me to dump you."

"What means 'dump'?"

"It means to make someone not your boyfriend or girlfriend anymore."

"Is that why Little Gaz is here? To 'dump' Zim?"

"What? No, no. I'm not gonna dump you. I came here to get away from Dib."

"Oh. So does this mean that your relationship with Zim must still be 'low-key'?"

"No. Not anymore. But I wouldn't push my luck in front of Dib," Gaz said, leaning back into the couch.

"So Zim can put his arm around you?"

"Yes."

"And can he hold your hand?"

"Yes."

"And can he hug you?"

"Yes."

"And can he kiss you?"

"Yes. Anymore questions?" Gaz said, sounding annoyed.

"No. Zim is content."

All was quiet for a few minutes before Gaz turned to Zim and said,"So, about what you said to me today."

"What?"

"When we were talking in the janitor's closet."

"Oh, about Zim loving you?"

"Yeah, did you really mean that?"

"Of course Zim meant it. Why would he not?"

"I don't know. Maybe you were just saying it to get me to tell Dib about us."

"No. Zim loves you and he means it."

"I was just asking, because yesterday you said you hated me."

"Zim remembers, but when he asked his computer about love last night, he realized that love is an emotion that embodies many other feelings"

"So, you hate me, and you love me?"

"…yes, but it is not a strong hate," Zim replied. Gaz nodded her head. Then, Zim gently took her chin and turned her head to face him. Then he said,"Zim has been wanting to try this for a long time." Then he kissed her, deeply. Gaz jumped before kissing him back, placing her hands on his shoulders. She felt Zim's tongue on her lips before she opened her mouth. His serpent-like tongue slid into her mouth and wrapped around her tongue before moving back and just touching it. Gaz was surprised at how the Irken's tongue was playing with hers, and was disappointed when Zim broke the kiss. Zim gave her a small smile before his doorbell rang. Zim sighed before getting up to answer the door. "Who is it?" Gaz asked as Zim opened the door.

"Dib," Zim said, taking a step back.

**A/N: "I fucking hate you, but I love you. I'm bad at keeping my emotions bubbled. We're good at being perfect, we're good at being troubled, yeah. I fucking hate you, but I love you. I'm bad at keeping my emotions bubbled. We're good at being perfect, we're good at being troubled, yeah."- Tyler**

**Please take a couple seconds to review please. Thanks. Peace.**


	5. Negotiations

**A/N: School is starting. Junior year, here I come!**

Chapter Five: Negotiations

Dib eyed Zim as he pushed his way past him and stepped into the house. He looked over at Gaz before leaning against the wall next to the couch.

"What are you doing here?" Gaz said as Zim walked back over and sat next to her.

Dib scowled at the sight before saying,"I don't like the idea of you and this guy dating; but if he makes you happy, then I'll deal with it."

"You walked all the way over here to tell us that?" Gaz said, crossing her arms.

"No. I walked all the way over here to give you two the rules and regulations."

"Rules and regulations? Is The Dib suggesting that there be boundaries on the relationship between Zim and Little Gaz?" Zim said, entering this conversation.

"Oh no. I'm not suggesting; I'm TELLING you that there will be boundaries on your relationship.

"Dib, you can't just walk in here and tell us what we can and can't do," Gaz said, raising her voice.

"Gaz, calm down. I didn't just walk in here. I knocked and was let in. Besides, it's not any drastic rules; and most of them apply to him," Dib said, pointing at Zim.

"Why do they only apply to Zim?" He asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Because they just do. Rule number one: Zim, if you ever hurt my sister; physically or emotionally, I will kill you. Literally," Dib said, a sternness appearing in his voice.

Gaz shrugged and said,"That's expected. What other rules do you have?"

"Rule number two: no PDA in front of me."

"What means 'PDA'?" Zim asked, cocking his head to the side.

"PDA stands for personal display of affection," Gaz said.

Zim still had that same confused look on his face.

"Kissing and hugging and stuff like that," Dib elaborated with a shrudder.

"Oh. So The Dib does not want Little Gaz and Zim to act like an Earth couple around him?" Zim said, now nodding his head in understandment.

"Yeah, pretty much. Rule number three: if you two ever get to the point if being a sexual couple; don't do or mention anything around me."

"Why would we?" Gaz said, looking at Dib as if he just asked the dumbest question in the world.

"I don't know. Maybe Irkens like public sex or like kissing and telling."

"Actually, we Irkens despise public sex. We prefer to copulate in privacy. And what means 'kissing and telling'?" Zim said.

"Kiss and tell means that you tell everyone what happened if you were to sleep with someone," Gaz explained as Dib huffed impatiently.

"Zim, how do you not know what all this stuff means? You've been here for years!" Dib stated.

"Zim knows exactly how long he has been here, Dib-Human. May he remind you that everyone thinks that he's a freak and does not want to be around him? If he had friends like you did; he would know what all of these terms and phrases are. It is not his fault," Zim snapped, standing up.

Gaz took his hand and tugged it until he sat back down. "Zim, calm down," she said.

Zim took a deep breath before saying,"Irkens do not give out details of a carnal experience. It is very private."

"Well, good. If that ever happens between you two; keep it that way," Dib said with a confirming nod.

Just then, the door swung open and Gir and Mini Moose strolled in. "Hiya master!" Gir said with an ecstatic wave.

Zim sighed heavily and said,"Hello Gir."

Mini Moose squeaked and then went down the hallway, leaving them in the living room.

Then, Gir walked over to the couch and forced his way in between Zim and Gaz.

"Hi Gazzy," he said, leaning his head on the pale skinned human.

"Um, hi Gir," Gaz said, trying to scoot away from the robot.

"Gir, is it possible that you sit on the other side of Little Gaz?" Zim asked.

"But master, I wanna sit next to Gazzy and you," he said.

Dib laughed and said,"One last rule: Gir has to go with you on all your dates."

"What?!" The couple said in unison, standing up.

"Dib are you crazy?," Gaz asked, looking at her brother as if he'd just spoken another language.

"Has The Dib lost his mind?" Zim asked, giving Dib the same look.

"I like making waffles," Gir stated, trying to enter the conversation.

"Gir!" Zim snapped, looking at the robot sternly.

Gir looked away and said,"Sorry."

"Hey, chill out. I was just kidding," Dib said, putting his hands up innocently.

"Oh. You had us all mad and everything," Gaz said, sitting back down along with Zim.

"Nah. I wouldn't make you guys take Gir on dates with you. They wouldn't be real dates; it would be babysitting."

"For once, Zim actually agrees with you. Gir at home is completely different than Gir in public," Zim said, leaning back in the chair.

"I like it when master takes me with him to buy snacks!" Gir said, trying to enter the conversation again.

"Gir, go into the back with Mini Moose," Zim said sternly, pointing a finger towards the hallway.

"Aww, but…"

"No buts Gir. Go!"

Gir sighed and got off the couch before trudging down the hallway. Once he was out of earshot, Gaz said,"Why do you still have him?"

"The Tallests would not take him back," Zim said with a shrug.

An awkward sort of silence passed through the room; then Dib made his way to the door saying,"Gaz, don't be loud when you come home. I'm out."

As soon as Dib was out of the door, Zim turned to Gaz and said,"Where were we before The Dib interrupted us?"

Gaz grinned before draping her arms around his neck and kissing him deeply.

**A/N: "Girl you fucking with my emotions, the fuck is all this noise about, I even considered picking up smoking, I turn to a bitch who let the dogs out, in my doghouse."-Tyler**

**Sorry this chapter is so short. I wanted to give y'all something before I went back to school. Please review, don't be strangers. Peace**


	6. Trevor

**A/N: Hi. (Don't be rude, say it back)**

Chapter Six: Trevor

"Master, master! Master wake up! You gotta walk Gazzy to skool today!" Gir yelled, jumping onto his master's bed.

Zim groaned and slowly sat up before saying,"Gir, get off me."

Gir obeyed his master's order and got off the bed, allowing for Zim to get up. The Irken sighed and changed his clothes (basically putting on the same outfit, but it's CLEAN). He rarely slept. In fact, the only time he's slept is when he forgets to charge his PAK.

A small grin tugged at the corners of his mouth as he recalled why he forgot to charge his PAK. Gaz didn't go back home until it was really late and Zim had went in his room and fell asleep. "That damn human," he said with a chuckle.

Gir handed him his book-bag and Mini Moose gave him a waffle before he walked out the door. Zim shoved the waffle into his mouth as he walked down the street, eating the whole thing in one bite. He approached the Membrane house and right as he walked up on the porch, Gaz and Dib walked out of the building.

"Zim," Dib said as he walked past the Irken towards his friends, who were walking down the street.

"Dib," Zim said, glaring at the human before turning back to Gaz and saying,"Good morning Little Gaz."

"Hey Zim," Gaz said as she stepped onto the sidewalk and allowed for Zim to hold her hand.

As Zim laced his fingers in between hers, Gaz asked,"How come Irkens only have three fingers?"

"Because we only need three, Zim can do with three fingers what you can do with five Little Gaz," Zim said with a smirk.

"But why only three? Why not four?"

Zim lifted up their locked hands so that Gaz could see as he began to explain,"Irkens have the same index finger, middle finger, and opposable thumb as humans; but there is no need for the weak ring finger or the pinky finger."

"Why?"

"The ring finger is the weakest finger on the hand, it can barely move without the aid of the middle or pinky fingers. And the pinky finger is simply useless."

"So, I basically have two fingers I don't even need?"

"Yes. What made you ask why Zim only has three fingers?"

"Because I'm holding your hand and I've got two fingers that don't have a match," Gaz said, moving her ring and pinky fingers.

Zim grinned and kissed their locked hands. "Zim likes your Earth attire today Little Gaz," he said as they approached the skool.

"Thank you. It's just jeans and a t-shirt, but thanks for the compliment," Gaz said as they entered the building. Zim allowed for Gaz to lead him to her locker and as he stood next to her, a guy walked up behind them.

"Gaz," the kid said, causing both the Irken and the pale-skinned human to turn around.

"What do you want Trevor?" Gaz said, crossing her arms.

"Who's this guy?" Trevor asked, pointing a finger at Zim.

"Zim."

"Don't be a smart-ass. I know his name, but I mean who is he?"

"He's my boyfriend," Gaz said, turning back around and getting her AP US History book out of her locker and then closing it.

"So, let me get this straight. You dump me for this green guy?"

"You mad?" Gaz said with a smirk before taking Zim's hand and leading him down the hallway.

"Who was that?" Zim asked as Gaz stopped outside the door to her AP US History class.

"My ex. You remember, they guy in the cafeteria?" Gaz said.

"Oh, Zim remembers him. What did he want?"

"Who knows," Gaz said before leaning up to kiss him and then saying,"Bye"

Gaz walked into her class and Zim made his way to his locker and on his way there, he was approached by Trevor.

"Dude, what's up between you and Gaz," He said as Zim opened his locker.

"She is Zim's girlfriend. Why?" Zim said as he glared at the light-skinned human.

"I know that smart-ass. I mean why?" Trevor said, catching an attitude.

"Because she is obviously attracted to Zim. Now if you'll excuse Zim, he has to get to class," Zim said before walking around Trevor and down the hall to his class.

**A/N: 'What? My bitch is the raddest, it's crazy who makes me the happiest, can make me the saddest, look Alice, lets get lost in your wonder or land, fucking addicts, you're perfectly perfect for me, what the fuck is this? Practice?'-Tyler**

**Thanks for reading and sorry about the long update. Please review :)**


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